Wednesday 18 th December 2013...

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Well...goodness!!

Its almost Christmas and I have not stopped!  

Yes... not been on as I was revising for a Maths test and then an English one :( 

But I am here now! :)

I have no idea what is going on with me right now?  I mean I know I am not getting enough sleep, I have lost interest in all food.  Yes you did read that right!! All food!!  I am finding food so damn boring at the moment... no matter how I 'pretty' it up or be adventurous with it.  I am actually finding excuses not to eat!  I mean .. what ever!!  

Take today... I took my mum out to do some Christmas shopping.  We walked about a bit... we had a coffee.. I had a 1 shot skinny latte with no extras...no cake, no biscuit, no sandwich... not even a scone!  Then more shopping and then we had lunch.  She likes Pizza Hut so that is where we ended up.  OMG... now previously bear in mind I could eat a whole extra large pizza myself and more!  I love Pizza Hut.  OK... so we had the buffet, cool a mixture...salad, pasta and pizza happy happy!  Well so I thought!  At the buffet bar looking at the pizzas I was so uninterested it actually scared me!  I mean.. me not wanting to eat pizza?? I went to the salad bar and did not really want to eat that either.. but put a token selection on my plate.. bit of lettuce, coleslaw and sweetcorn.  Then wandered back to the pizzas... thought I should so put 2 small, yes I chose the smallest triangles!  They were a vegetarian one with onion, mushroom and spinach I think?  Sat down and pretty much forced myself to eat it.  And this was the first food I had had all day.  See I have no idea what is going on?  

Its now almost 5.30 pm and I am sat at my computer drinking a home made strawberry shake.  Its made with semi-skimmed milk and a handful of frozen strawberries from my freezer.  I am basically drinking this because I know I should have something.

I have not been able to do any exercise still... due to my damn knee.  I have physio this Friday, in the aqua pool so that should be interesting, helpful too I hope.  I am actually getting fed up of not doing anything.. I know exercising will help with me not sleeping... but I cannot exercise :(

Do you know I just feel like screaming.... maybe I should it may help me to feel better about myself right now?  Maybe, well I hope this is just a phase?  Ha ha yes a phase of not wanting to eat...not the wanting to scream! ha ha

When I feel like this I dont feel like blogging... but I forced myself to do it...to see if it would help?  Well to be honest I guess its nice to get off my chest what is bothering me.  

Hmmm... food over Christmas is not bothering me.  I dont like it!!  I really dont!  I am and have not been eating any meat... I dont like Turkey so that is fine!  OK I will eat the vegetables... I dont like Christmas pudding, or cake so no worries there!  And yes I like Cheese cake but we dont have it this year as dad is a diabetic.  So I think it will be a dull Christmas dinner for me this year... if I eat it!  As for all the nibbly snack bits.. I guess I should eat something... maybe I will cut up an apple and nibble that?  Aaaargggh food!!

I have all my presents... they are not wrapped but I have them!  I should really wrap them... when I get a minute.  Are you all prepared for Christmas?

Gosh this has turned out to be a quite depressive post... sorry :(

I have broken up from college now... until the 7th January but I have home work to do.  To prepare for an English exam my first day back!  damn!!  And I wonder who turns up to that?!!

Ok... so I will post again... maybe every other day over the Christmas period?  Or maybe I will just go with the flow and post when I feel like it?!  I will post though... promise :)

Later.....